Have I mentioned that Only Daughter and BG are twins?
Not obvious,given that they are the complete antithesis of each other in appearance, nature and interests.Their only shared likeness being their innate untidiness and their wildly curly hair(one blonde,one dark)for which I'm to blame.
They're both currently holidaying in typically contrasting style.
Only daughter,having conscientiously saved her wages to pay her air fare is currently resident at The Cosmoplitan,Singapore.
BG,on the other hand,whilst his sister enjoys the luxuries of on site pool,jacuzzi,gym and daily maid is billeted in somewhat more modest lodgings.Rendered incapable of the ability to save due to his weekly binge of spending on a whirlwind of weekend social activities, he is enjoying the pleasures of Wrostlers Barn,near Coniston Water in the Lake District.
Now, you may think that Only Daughter's far flung destination might pose the greatest torment.Not so, provided she was able to negotiate her flight connection in Dubai(which she did)she is now safely ensconced in the care of my beloved sis.Phew.
No,my concern lies with a group of 16/17 year old unsupervised boys.
Lets take a tour of their living accommodation and a peek at the luxuries afforded therein.
'secluded location just metres away from Coniston Water'
'two large gas lanterns providing light and a wood burning stove'
'raised sleeping platform'
Note the precarious means of access via rickety ladder requiring full control of ones mental faculties in order to negotiate safely.
There was some discussion/controversy regarding showering facilities available on site(clearly non exist).Given this information and having prior knowledge of the plentiful supply of baked beans taken along, I'm guessing that the air will be less than fragrant by now in Wrostlers Barn.
In summary,accommodation basically comprises a stone built two storey tent with additional inclusive hazards at no extra cost:
Once other known teenage leisure activities are thrown into the mix,I'm not exactly inspired with certitude.
I've been keeping everything crossed and anxiously await his safe return tomorrow.
Meanwhile,back at the ranch,The Sensible One(in direction contravention of his name and reputation) was choosing a novel and highly original extra curricular activity in order to celebrate his A level successes and entry to his university of choice to study Food and Nutrition.
Together with three equally triumphant friends,he embarked on a leisurely drive around the surrounding villages and countryside.
Astonishingly, this attracted a notable amount of attention and resulted in numerous telephone calls to the local police station from
As a result yours truly 'had 'er collar felt' last Friday.
Sorry,did I not mention that their vehicle of choice was in fact my own car?The one that costs me £1700 per annum to insure The Sensible One for?
You see,said Chef, I told you there were far too many people going to university these days.Four brains and between them not one clever enough to work out that careering around the countryside in a plausible impression of the Anthill Mob wasn't going to cause problems..
To which the Sensible One's only defence:Well its only an item of clothing, we weren't actually doing anything.
Which was true.Other than observing the reactions of innocent passers-by.
The upshot of the misdemeanour was that all four received a strong ticking off and were each fined £60 under Public Order Law.
Never mind,said Chef,they weren't actually robbing a bank.
Which was a comfort.
Yesterday afternoon,noting the severe weather warning announced on the radio,as predicted we experienced torrential and consistent rain throughout the afternoon.I was mindful of the home comforts afforded at Wrostlers Barn
What's up?said Chef
Self:Oh I was just watching the rivulets of rain as they make their way down the window and all join up together.Its quite soothing.
Chef:Come on were going out for dinner,I've booked a table.
Just in time.
I think he'd spotted the men in white coats on the horizon.